Shocker alert: humans and felines relate in more ways than you think. You see, college kids tend to draw inspiration from the strangest of places, people or things. You might come across a potato carved to resemble Bernie Sanders and instantly find the strength to go on in that dreadful psychology class. With school slowly inching towards us, we must reach to the high heavens above and try to find some miracle to motivate and prepare ourselves for the long haul. At times, you won’t be able to find anything to spur some sort of emotion to prepare yourself for the impending semester. To solve your inability to push yourself, you must look to the deep, dark corner of the internet. I am, of course, referring to cat videos.
1. Ultra Slow Motion 7 Feet Cat Jump
Sometimes we hold ourselves back from performing a task because the work appears too frightening. This fright comes in the form of job interviews, tests, asking a cute girl out. A house cat just released all inhibitions and performed an epic, hardcore parkour seven-foot jump across two houses. Take the mentality from this cat and use it in your life…except, ya know, make it more humanlike. Believe in yourself, despite how foreboding the obstacle in front of you may appear. You won’t get anywhere (like the cat) if you don’t risk it from time to time. “This cat literally just jumped across houses like it was in Mission Impossible. I’m saving this for whenever I tell myself I can’t do something. Except jumping roofs, I’m still not ready for that,” said Florida State University freshman Amber Nicholson.
2. Keyboard Cat
Whether in a public speaking class, acting in a play for the first time or trying out stand up comedy, standing in front of a group of random strangers can be totally freaky. However, that didn’t stop Keyboard Cat. He hopped on his tiny, cat-sized keyboard, put on his favorite blue shirt and took the internet by storm with his piano solo—Beethoven’s ghost must’ve stood by his side. With an insane 44.6 million people watching this cat shred the keyboard, he didn’t sweat or miss a single beat. You can be the next keyboard cat, so get out there and take on the world.
3. No No No Cat
Take a stand for yourself! Don’t let people boss you around and tell you what to do. You’re a strong, independent ca…human being and nobody can stop you from doing you. “Being a yes man all the time isn’t as helpful as it seems. Sometimes, the best answer for a situation is no,” said Miami-Dade College junior Kimmy Claro. Just like this cat, don’t feel afraid to tell the world “no” and do the complete opposite. Unless you’re saying no to bath time, then you should probably not listen to this cat. Seriously. Go get in the shower.
4. Cat with Light Saber vs Dog
Just like Kanye once said, “Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be you.” At some point, you’ll get matched up with someone who seems bigger and better than you, but you have a secret weapon: you (when light sabers aren’t an option). Nobody else can emulate you, so unleash your raw potential and show the world why the top dog doesn’t hold anything on you.
5. Kitty Gym
Remember when you swore you’d hit the gym all summer so when you returned to school everyone would be shocked at your chiseled, ripped body? Turns out that re-watching The Office three times seemed more important. Time to throw on your running shoes, play “Eye of the Tiger” and hit the treadmill. “Ok but now I actually have to compete for a better body against a cat what a time to be alive,” said Florida Atlantic University senior Sebastien Sterling Adams. If furry felines can take advantage of their gym membership, so can you.
6. Cat Dancing
Due to your lack of dancing skills, you may avoid going out with your friends on the weekends. After watching this video, you’ll no longer will you be a couch potato. If this cat can dance in front of the world, you can dance in front of a few random strangers—and let’s be real, these strangers won’t even pay attention to your rhythm deficiency. “The world may consider me a horrible dancer, but as far as I’m concerned I could totally win SYTYCD,” said Miami-Dade junior Paloma Calixcto.
7. College Cat
Yeah…you want to totally avoid being this cat, guys. At first, marathon-ing the new season of OITNB while devouring an entire pack of double stuffed Oreos might seem like a mighty accomplishment. Turns out you actually need to college in college. Turn in your research papers early (at least a day beforehand) and don’t become college cat. Then again…watching GOT reruns sounds more tempting. “I want to say that this isn’t me but…yeah. Make sure you kill your work before you ever even think of opening Netflix up,” said FSU junior Oliva Coker.
8. Cat Escapes Maximum Security Prison
Don’t confine yourself to a single aspect of your life. Break down the protective walls and expand your universe. A whole world exists outside of your comfort zone, and stepping forward can welcome you into an alternate universe. Try new, weird foods like fresh cactus juice and fried Giant Squid tentacle. Take up a new hobby (underwater basket weaving, anyone?) that seems impossible, but will undoubtedly be worth all the trouble. Trust me, learning how to play the accordion with your feet may seem totally pointless at first, but the talent serves as a good icebreaker.
9. Cat Don’t Care
Cat don’t care, and neither should you. Life will throw multiple trials and tribulations in your direction, and you’ll need to defend yourself. You’ll end up accidentally hitting on a girl who dates an MMA fighter (who’s three times your height). And once in a blue moon, your car will inevitably run out of gas on the highway in the middle of the rain. “Life isn’t a smooth yellow brick road that takes you straight to your destination, y’know? It’s the bumps and hills that make the journey that much more important than the journey,” said Miami-Dade sophomore Edward Camara. Learning how to deal with the worst instead of expecting the best helps you trudge through hell. While slapping your problems away might not solve the issue, knowing how to adapt to any situation will, even if the situation involves a hungry alligator.
10. Just Do You
From forcing yourself to stay quiet in the library to not dancing like MC Hammer in public, unwritten rules tell you how to act. Well no more. Show the world the true you and don’t look back—even amidst your embarrassing dance moves. Just because people may think you’re different should never stop you from being yourself. Time to embrace the true weirdo you were destined to be; so go outside, get under the sun, kick ass and take some names along the way. “You should never be afraid of being you on a daily basis. Who cares what people think of the way you dress, talk, or eat? As long as it makes you happy is all that really matters,” said Miami-Dade senior Kevin Rodriguez.
Brandon Cordoves is a Junior at Florida State University studying Editing, Writing and Media. He can be found raving about his fantasy football team that came in second place last season or eating something chicken related.
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